If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize