I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I would fuck him just for his dog
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
