i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
