Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
