I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
