new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize
