he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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