Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
