Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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