he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
