You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
