It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
