I feel like abortions should bother me more
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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