i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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