Ambien. No doubt about it.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
