I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
