did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
