The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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