Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
