you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
