I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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