Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
