My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
