I murdered the dance floor call the cops
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
