i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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