after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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