like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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