i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
