This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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