I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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