I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
