Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
