Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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