Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
