its not stalking. its research.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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