he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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