the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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