Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
