We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
