Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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