how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
a search helicopter?!
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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