I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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