my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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