Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Use "feeling words"
Yay
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I have already put on my inside pants.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
