real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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