just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
