if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
