he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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