Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
