About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
