Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize