He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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