bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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