Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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