people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
