So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I enjoy the company of your penis
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
