Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize