Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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