We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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