I am in a vortex of obligation.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
