I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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