Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
