It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
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